Finding Peace Among Their Hate
I want to thank all the haters. Listening to others teaches us so much, even if what they say is hateful.
I consider myself a newbie here, and although my mission is to write, I ended up doing a lot more reading.
I am not sure how Medium picks the stories that end up on my list of suggested reads. But I followed along and played nicely, at first!
I became shocked and bewildered! I read the guidelines. Hate speech was a no-no until I realized it was acceptable to hate a particular group of people. You know- “those people” Well it turns out, I am one of those people!
I respect other people’s opinions and perspectives. I am well aware that most people know very little about anything, except for what they hear from others.
In other words, they didn’t experience it themselves or see it with their own eyes. They merely trusted someone they believed to be an expert or authority figure. These could be parents, teachers, pastors, politicians, or news anchors. It is generally someone respected. Whether that person has any real knowledge at all, doesn’t matter.
As babies, we thought all adults were Gods. They spoke a unique language and seemed to understand each other. They could walk around, pick things up, move items around. They could feed themselves, meanwhile while we just laid there helpless.
It’s no wonder we honored and trusted them. Those big humans possessed magical powers.
Around the age of 5, we were sent away in the big yellow school bus that took us to an institution that would teach us all the tricks we needed to be Gods.
We stared straight ahead for hours each day, focusing on the one human being who knew more than mommy and daddy, otherwise, why would we be there? These Gods must be smarter.
Everything we were about to learn was already chosen for us, written up in thick, heavy textbooks, scribbled on the blackboard, and dispersed to us in well written study guides. At the end of the week, we were obligated to regurgitate all that was forced upon us by the God.
We earned a shiny, gold sticker if we did well. We received a sad face if we performed poorly. God had spoken! We were either geniuses or failures.
And for the rest of our lives, we believed it.
What does this have to do with hate?
We believed the Gods when they taught us who to hate!
Babies aren’t born hating anyone. We are all born dependent on others for assistance and guidance as we navigate this thing called life, and many have steered us wrong. As adults, we are guilty of the same.
When you write about people you hate, I am assuming you are not only ranting, but you are looking for other haters to jump on board. Yeah, it’s like creating your own little tribe of haters. How fun!
It’s human nature. We all like to be liked. We all want that feeling of belonging, even if it is “in hate” we unite.
Then I started to get mad! I wasn’t angry that people were opinionated. They have a right to be, and “Frankly Scarlet, I don’t give a damn.” Other people’s opinion of me is not my business. What was getting me angry was how rampant it was. Could everyone on Medium be haters? Where the hell were the happy people? What did I get myself into?
I understand the world is in chaos right now, and fear is often the catalyst to an angry outburst. We hate others because somewhere deep down we fear them, or we fear how they make us feel. Like the Gods at the head of the classroom, the boss who sits in the big chair behind the glass doors, or the overbearing father that made us feel we weren’t good enough. Well, we are big kids now, and screw you Gods, (parents, bosses, spouses, priests), we can feel and say whatever the hell we want! So we do!
You have a right to be Pissed Off!
I honor your anger and your fear. You deserve it!
For decades, no one seemed to care how you felt or what your views were. And now here you are, typewriter at your disposal. Let it rip.
So how did all these angry people help me?
Well, as I stated, I was beginning to feel the anger well up inside me. Again, I wasn’t upset because strangers out there hated “my kind” I didn’t take it personally at all. So what was making me so angry? What made my testosterone flair up like a raging Silverback, pounding my chest of righteousness?
I was pissed that the Gods had torn us apart. I was angry that they put us in a stupor, not allowing us to think for ourselves. I was furious because the Gods decided we couldn’t discuss things they considered unholy. I was agitated because they taught us who was acceptable to hate and who wasn’t. I was outraged that they played us like pawns in their divisive chess game. I hated them!
And yes, my anger and hatred stemmed from my fear- the fear that it was working so brilliantly! The fear that if it was to continue, we were doomed as a species.
My philosophy is the only way to move away from fear is to move towards love. So although I was getting upset about all the haters, I knew I had the power to switch it around. My emotions were my choice, and if I let someone else influence my emotions, then I have just handed over my power.
So I took back my power. I decided to write this and tell all the haters, I see them, I acknowledge them. I understand their fears and hate. Because honestly, it isn’t theirs; it was passed on to them.
I spent the evening, in prayer and forgiveness. I had to forgive myself first for losing my cool. Next, I had to forgive those who find joy in tearing us apart.
Maybe inside every bully is a crying child begging to be acknowledged. Maybe those with hate are innocent souls, never given a chance to express their innate genius and power.
So here we are!
Thea Williams Scalco, B.Msc- Lover of all things magical.
