Can Inner Peace Come Easily? Try This.
Every situation is a place to begin practicing peace.
Before I share a technique that I have recently began using, I want to tell you a story.
It’s my story and my lesson. I hope you can see some value in it. I hope you can see all things as valuable. Whether you like the situation you are in or not, there is something in it for you to learn.
So let’s begin.
My son has always been involved in sports. He played T-ball as a kid and moved into football, and bowling. Recently he added a kickball league to the list. (I know, I didn’t think adult kickball leagues existed either)
Yesterday, he had a match scheduled for 7:00 pm. He looks forward to this weekly game and was annoyed that last week it was canceled due to the weather. So he was overly eager to get to the field and wanted to be there no later than 6:45.
I decided to go with him, not because I enjoy watching him play, but because I was also heading to Stuart, a town about 15 miles away, and figured I could run my errands while he was playing.
My son takes sporting activities way too seriously for me, so after 15 years of cringing on the sidelines as he breaks every rule of good sportsmanship, I decided I am no longer obligated.
He was already stressing out when he picked me up. He hadn’t scheduled his time very well and I believe he was annoyed that he had to get me.
I reminded him, he still had plenty of time and to chill out.
I had some emails to respond to so I attended to my phone as I felt the car swerving this way and that, at speeds, I was not comfortable with.
I didn’t look up because when my son is driving, I see every possible danger, including the Sandhill Crane mother on the side of the road diabolically planning to walk herself and her chicks in front of us.
I simply said, as I maneuvered my fingers on my tiny IPhone keyboard, ”Slow down please”
And then HIS phone. Argh. The beeps and bleeps, dings and whistles. I don’t know how people do it. Every time a text comes through the phone it sends a signal to your brain, “HEY ITS ME! PAY ATTENTION.”
Its an awful distraction and would drive me nuts- so my phone is on silent.
He picked up his torture device and took a quick glance at it as he dodged another Floridan who doesn’t know how to use a traffic circle.
He then aggressively tossed it into the console and said, “They are starting early tonight.”
I couldn’t understand why the team would start early. so I just said, “Well that doesn’t make sense”, and went back to my email.
Then the dings were coming in one after another. I did not want him grabbing the phone agitated while he was driving, so I picked it up.
I saw the message, Sorry, but if you aren’t here on time you cannot play.
There was no way in hell I was going to tell him that. He looks forward to these Thursday night matches and telling him he couldn’t play would have sent him straight into the a plotting bunch of Sandhill Cranes.
I put the phone down and looked at the clock.
“You got plenty of time to get there”, I said,” just relax.”
The dinging continued, I picked up his phone again, and there it was, a message from his coach, I am only messing with you.
For God’s sake. It may seem funny to Coach Jeff but to my son, it’s serious business. And Coach Jeff wasn’t sitting in the passenger seat.
I passed the message along and there was a sigh of relief coming from behind the wheel.
Only 4 short minutes away, with 2 minutes to spare to arrive by 7 there it was, a huge police SUV blocking the road.
I could tell my son was annoyed as he simply let out another sigh, but this one had disgust attached to it.
“Don’t worry make a left over there and we can take the back roads.” I said pointing ahead.
The only downside was it meant more traffic circles and more tourists who have no idea how to navigate them.
We got around the police barricade and slipped past the chaos with ease, but wait, what is that ahead?
Another flashing SUV, on a side street, blocks away from the first incident? That is odd, I thought.
We drove by puzzled, but there was more. Each block we passed we could see another officer standing next to his over sized vehicle blocking entry into the main road.
I finally told my son to stop. I rolled down the window to ask the young man, what was going on.
“The parade”, he said. Like I must have forgotten.
“What? A parade on a Thursday night?””
Was my Anglo-Saxon brain missing some important indigenous holiday?
“Yeah”, he said, “the Homecoming Parade.”
“Oh, Ok.” I rolled up the window and thought what a strange world we live in.
While one teenager wonders when he will eat again, another is picking out an outfit for their glorious ride down East Ocean Blvd.
Before you think about inequality, let’s look at this another way.
There is nothing wrong with either scene. Each individual plays a role in the collective consciousness. Each soul is given a job to teach humanity a lesson.
A parade is a celebration of life, tradition, and culture, the dress is an adornment of our beautiful bodies.
Why shouldn’t we have them? Do you think a happy individual should sacrifice his joy to give homage to the poor?
A martyr’s life is never pretty.
It is foolish to think we were created to carry around the burdens of others. We weren’t. We are here to have an experience. It is an opportunity to be human with all its complexities and emotions. It’s the chance to expand our souls and hopefully help others do the same.
But what about the hungry teenager? Is it fair, that he experiences struggle? Surely he is in the grand school of LIFE. Therefore, we must include his experiences as opportunities for spiritual growth.
The hungry teenager is a spirit yearning for the simplicity of a meal and the peace of having a full belly.
He is extremely uncomfortable with chaos and strife, knowing his soul is capable of greatness. If he has good examples and role models, it can raise a hunger in him so fantastic that he becomes determined to overcome his poverty. Watching the parade, allows him to see it is possible.
For the other youngster, a day of celebration might bring up a sense of gratitude. It will fill their heart with joy, a gift we all cherish. A gift we love to share.
There is an opportunity here for both.
The hungry teen can teach compassion and gratitude. The joyful teen can teach the hungry faith, hope, charity and tenacity.
You may think, it is much easier for those born into wealth, but the truth is we are all born into wealth.
Wealth doesn’t always mean dollars. Wealth comes from the Middle English word wele which means well-being. Being well in the body, mind, and spirit.
We arrive here perfect. It is what we choose to do with our God-given wealth, that will determine our future happiness and prosperity.
Wealth looks different to all of us
Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with saving and investing, some people who store their funds in banks, stocks and IRAs, etc. are only temporarily fulfilled with the idea of dollars sitting somewhere untouched.
Their minds are at ease for a small while, until the market crashes or interest rates fluctuate. The worry about their future with thousands if not millions locked away.
Their money doesn’t remove their fears, nor does it build relationships.
Will Smith once said,
Anything can go away. There’s no such thing as safety and security. You can do things that give you the illusion of safety and security, but there’s really no such thing.
He claims he still worries about being broke one day.
Although it isn’t true for everyone, how often do we see those rich in $$ extremely unhappy and unhealthy.
Their marriages and relationships are suffering. They have no real connections to anything or anyone except their accountant.
This is not wealth.
To Me, This is What Wealth Looks Like
Let’s go back to the original scene
It’s a Homecoming Parade, a ritual to welcome back alumni and celebrate their High School.
It’s the students having fun and voting on who shall take the position of King and Queen of Homecoming, False idols, but fun nonetheless. No one really takes it seriously.
Afterward, there is a feast where ALL the high school kids gather to join in on the festivities. Above the door is a WELCOME sign with no mention of donors who funded the event.
Wealth, in this scenario are 2 teens celebrating high school. The “”rich kid” sitting with the hungry sharing a piece of cake, a story, and a laugh.
Looking at them, you see no boundaries, no separation, just kids celebrating their school, their football team and making fun of Mr. Garson, the 11th grade Science teacher.
Together they are leaving childhood and holding hands in unity discussing their parents who play strange music and just don’t understand them.
Wealth is the Queen donating her gown to charity, for someone else to wear to her prom.
Wealth sees nothing but beauty and opportunities. Wealth has no fears!
Time to pick up my son
I pulled into the parking lot adjacent to the field waiting for my son to finish his game. I checked my phone to see if there were any updates.
I read, Bottom of the 8th, they are winning, 8–3.
Oh boy, he hates to lose, but I was prepared. I had been in this scenario multiple times in the past.
I then looked up and in front of me was a man walking a bicycle. It looked as though he had all of his belongings with him in a basket and a canvas bag dangling from his seat.
I assumed he was homeless, but I couldn’t help noticing his demeanor. He didn’t look miserable, hungry, or tired. He looked like he was grateful for the cool evening breezes we were experiencing in Florida.
I had this urge to get out of my car and talk with him. You know, ask him what his perspective on life was, what did he think when he walked by a parking lot full of large shiny SUVs and small red mini coops?
What did he feel when he heard the laughter and cheers coming from the fields? Did he feel sorrow, loss? Did he once own it all, and now it’s all gone, or did he hold no memory of a family gathered around the kitchen table eating homemade mashed potatoes with hot pork gravy?
As I watched him walk slowly by me, I felt I could see deeply into his soul. I could see the lines on his face and they weren’t lines of despair. He emanated a strong sense of peace within him.
His transmission was a message to me, one I was trying to decode when all of a sudden my son opened the passenger door.
I immediately switched gears and said, “Hey how did it go?”
“Oh, we lost”
But this time things were different. In the past, if he lost in any event, I was bombarded with self-loathing. I would have to hear about all the mistakes, screw-ups, and unimaginable obstacles he faced. He would go on about how he sucked. If he performed well then he would insist on telling me about his horrible teammates and all their errors.
But not tonight.
He mentioned how they got smeared, but it was OK, he had fun.
He said, “Yeah the other team was really good.” He told me about the fast pitchers and awesome defense.
HUH? I was happy to hear it, but a little surprised.
We pulled out of the parking lot and made a left. Had I gone right I would have driven towards East Ocean Blvd where the homes are lined with neatly trimmed hedges.
Instead, I made my way toward the avenue of broken fences and overgrown grass.
The street lights were low and there were no parades.
As I took the turn toward the railroad tracks, I said, “I don’t really like this neighborhood.”
My son said, “Oh it’s fine”, as if I was being silly.
He was right. This was the neighborhood the man with the bike occupied. This was the place where behind the paint-chipped walls lived people of hope and possibilities.
This was the place where dreams of greatness were discussed among the children. This was the place where empty forks were transformed into superheroes, where kids built castles out of old worn decks of cards their grandpa gave them.
This was part of the hood where I experienced my son turning into a mature man.
This is where I was reminded,
Wealth sees nothing but beauty and opportunities. Wealth has no fears!
What will you choose to see?
If you prefer to see everything as a negative, you will lose your sense of joy.If you get stressed over situations beyond your control, you will lose your sense of peace.
But you can shift your awareness by making different choices. To begin the process of shifting to a sense of peace and joy the start with this:
1. Begin each morning looking about you. Glance at everything in your surrounding environment slowly.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your pile of dirty laundry or the tree outside your window. Notice it all and say to yourself, ‘there is another way of looking at this”
Whether it is a so called “pretty’ object or one you might see as “ugly” view them as equal.
Do this for 5 minutes or so.
2. Close your eyes and notice what comes up.
Do worries about your health or getting to the office on time travel through your mind? Pay close attention, then repeat to yourself, “There is another way of looking at this.”
You may not yet understand what the other way is, but you are training your mind to start seeing things differently.
3. Throughout the day, when a situation arises that tempts you to become disturbed, say. “ I could see peace in this situation instead of what I see now and I choose to see things differently.
This will take some practice, so you may want go fast track and set your phone alarm to every hour or two and do step 1. Simply look around at your setting and say to yourself, “there is another way at looking at this”
There is always another way to look at things. Keep this up and soon you will be amazed at how calm you have become. Plus you will see things you never saw before. You will see more colors in the sunset and more laugh lines on those you once deemed as unfortunate.
Thea- lover of all things magical
If you like my stuff, you may just LOVE my book, The Real Us (and were not crazy) , Get it today on Amazon. — PEACE OUT HUMAN!
